Fighting the hegemony with love

As I nonchalantly scrolled through my Facebook feed, looking for something to pique my interest, I came across a compelling article featured in the Huffington Post by author, columnist and blogger, Shawn Burcaw. The title, "Laughing at My Nightmare: Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse" grabbed my attention immediately.  Shawn, 22, is living with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, and has been in a wheelchair since the age of two. In the post, he talks about a night he went out for dinner with his girlfriend. Someone came up to their table, complementing his work, and then asked if Shawn's girlfriend was his sister. Shawn explains that they are used to such things, and have witty comebacks prepared like, "He's my dad" or "I pay her to be my friend". If you saw two youngsters out for a nice meal, wouldn't you think they were on a date? The wheelchair, obscures such a thought. 

"The mindset that causes a stranger to automatically assume that any female in my presence is my nurse, or family, is one that ignores the reality that people with disabilities can and do have "normal" romantic relationships. I place normal in quotations because I'm not sure there is such a thing when it comes to Iove." 

He's completely correct. Such an ideology (system of meaning that defines and explains the world) ignores the reality and normalizes certain social relations, ultimately serving the status quo and the hegemony (the social, cultural, ideological, or economic influence exerted by a dominant group). It's all about power relations, but the hegemonic (middle class, heterosexual, white, male, able-bodied, Christian) ideology becomes a staple as the dominant group view becomes the worldview that is accepted and seen as the "norm", and is often perpetuated in the media. Therefore, the public doesn't see someone in a wheelchair as "normal" because they hardly ever see them on TV or in movies in romantic relationships, so they wouldn't think that the person with them is their partner, because the hegemonic mass media avoids the unpopular and unconventional. The show "Friday Night Lights" follows the ups and downs of a Texas high school football team. One of the main characters is Jason Street. He was the best player and the top ranked quarter back in the nation. But in his senior year on the first game, he tackles a defender in a game-winning play, and severely injures his spinal cord, making him paralyzed from the waist down. But here's the thing about how his story line was portrayed: it's not all about his impairment. Of course it is a part of his story, but it's not the entire story. While he is in the hospital, his girlfriend, Lyla cheats on him with his best friend Tim. He finds out, leaves her and punches his friend. Eventually they get back together, but this time he cheats on her. Now if you ask me, this sounds like a pretty "typical" high school love triangle storyline. The only thing out of the "norm" is that Jason is paralyzed. He still has romantic relationships, he plays rugby, he works, he helps coach, he even eventually has a baby. So, what even is "normal"? The idea of the "norm" is socially constructed through the hegemony. If someone is not educated in Ethnic or gender studies, or doesn't have a personal relationship with someone with an impairment, they  wouldn't necessarily know this because they are most likely seeing the world through a hegemonized view. There needs to be more visibility of non-able bodied people in the media, and they need to be portrayed in various relationships, classes, ages, genders, sexual orientations and different situations because everyone and I do mean everyone has multiple facets to their individuality. No one is one-dimensional, and no one can be or should be defined by one aspect of themselves, because people are not their disabilities.